


A Jolly Halloween (aka All The Better ...)

by badskippy



Series: Bagginshield One-Offs [24]
Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Dorks in Love, Family fun, First Love, Fun, Halloween, Halloween Costumes, Little Red Riding Hobbit, M/M, Trick or Treating, Werewolf Thorin, lobelia and bilbo get along great
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-13
Updated: 2017-10-13
Packaged: 2019-01-17 00:04:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,701
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12353304
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/badskippy/pseuds/badskippy
Summary: Bilbo absolutely, 100% hated, was going to kill, his beloved cousins and their stupid ideas about dressing up for trick-or-treating!That is ... until he meets a sexy werewolf who loves Jolly Ranchers.





	A Jolly Halloween (aka All The Better ...)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [nerdeeart](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=nerdeeart), [aquileaofthelonelymountain](https://archiveofourown.org/users/aquileaofthelonelymountain/gifts), [Neeka](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Neeka/gifts), [beetle](https://archiveofourown.org/users/beetle/gifts), [bubbysbub](https://archiveofourown.org/users/bubbysbub/gifts).



> HAPPY HALLOWEEN!! This story is based on NERDEEART's FANTASTIC artwork!! (btw ... I changed the name because I used All The Better in another story and totally FORGOT about this one!)

* * *

 

**_LITTLE RED RIDING HOBBIT and THE BIG BAD SEXY (WERE)WOLF!_ **

**_BY NERDEEART!!_ **

 

* * *

 

 

            Bilbo was going to kill his cousin; Lobelia was so dead!   It had been her stupid idea to dress up as storybook characters and go trick-or-treating!   Just because little Lotho loved bedtime stories, didn’t mean that they ALL had to go along with the theme!

            Of course, if he were honest, Primula and Esmerelda had to share some of the blame too!  THEY’D AGREED!   Yes, fine, he’d admit that he adored little Merry with his mischievous smile, and at two years old Lotho was already so sassy (Bilbo secretly thought that awesome), and it went without saying that he’d do anything for sweet Frodo.  BUT DID THAT MEAN HE HAD TO DRESS UP AS LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD?!?

            Belia, Prim, and Essie all seemed to think so.

            Lobelia was Cinderella, while Lotho was The Prince.  Primula was Snow White, while Frodo was Prince Charming.  Esmerelda was Sleeping Beauty and Merry was Prince Phillip.   Drogo and Otho had somehow found a way out of going!  The bastards.  So why the hell was Bilbo having to be EFFING LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD?!

            “Because you love them,” Lobelia said gesturing to the little ones, “and all three of them like LIttle Red Riding Hood.”

            “But can’t I have been the wolf,” Bilbo protested, “and one of _them_ be Red Riding Hood?!”

            “They’d all want to be that!” Esmerelda said.  “And besides, wolves are scary!”

            “It’s Halloween!”  Bilbo huffed.  “ITS SUPPOSE TO BE SCARY!”

            “Not for our precious babies!” Lobelia stated firmly.

            “Besides, Bilbo,” Primula said softly.  “Your one of us.”

            “What’s that mean?!”  Bilbo had a sinking feeling.

            “You’re like …” Esmerelda hesitated.  “Your …”

            Bilbo knew where this was going.

            “You’re one of the girls,” Lobelia said with a shrug, adjusting her tiara.

            Bilbo made a face like sucking a lemon.  “I see!  Because I’m gay, you all think I’m ‘ _one of the girls!_ ’”

            Lobelia, Primula, and Esmerelda exchanged looks; they did think that.

            “Oh, well,” Bilbo said, turning snarky.  “I’m surprised you didn’t get a ball gown and dress me up as a princess then!”

            “We thought about it,” Primula said.

            “We did,” Esmerelda agreed, nodding.

            “But our options were limited,” Lobelia said matter-of-factly.  “We were only left with Beauty, Rapunzel, and The Little Mermaid.”

            “Yellow is _not_ your color,” Primula stated.  “So Belle was out.”

            “Rapunzel’s wig would have been a nightmare,” Esmerelda added.  "Trust me."

            “And I could not have looked at you,” Lobelia said, “wearing a sea-shell bra.”

            Bilbo wished his mother had given him up for adoption.  “I hate you all so much right now.”  Correction, Bilbo wished all _their_ mother’s had given _them_ up for adoption.

            “Oh, stop being a drama queen,” Lobelia said, rolling her eyes and opening the front door to indicate she was ready.  “Let’s go … _ladies_!”

            All three girls laughed and Bilbo swore he was going to shove candy up their backsides before this night was done!

            However, once they were on the street, and after a few houses, Bilbo had to admit it wasn’t so bad.  There were many other men - fathers, boyfriends, significant others, etc - that were clearly going alone with themes and dressed in costumes they’d rather not be in.  A few passed Bilbo and rather than snicker and make fun they gave him commiserating looks and eye-rolls; they understood his plight.  And he did serve a purpose; the boys would get candy in the little buckets, but that would be immediately scooped up and placed - out of reach - in the big basket that Bilbo carried.  

            And he did have fun being with his cousins; the four of them always did have fun. in fact, he was enjoying himself so much, he didn’t realize that someone had snuck up right behind him until a deep voice sounded very close to his ear.

            “What’s in your basket, little boy?”

            Bilbo startled and jumped a tiny bit - and he denied later that he squeaked - but he was ready to give some creepy idiot a piece of his mind and he whipped around, “Now see here–”  _OMG_ , the guy was so … yummy!  Long dark hair, full beard, beautiful blue eyes and so deliciously built … Bilbo just stopped dead as the guy gave him a heart-stopping smile!

            “DIS!”

            Bilbo shook himself and turned back around as Primula greeted a newcomer and introduced her to the gang!

            “Everyone, this is Dis!  Her boys are in Frodo’s preschool!”

            The woman in question was dressed as The Bride of Frankenstein.  She introduced her husband, Vili, who was dressed as Frankenstein’s monster.  in a stroller were two young boys, Fili and Kili, who were a pumpkin and a black cat respectfully, while the guy next to her she introduced as her younger brother, Frerin, dressed as The Mummy, and then she pointed to the man that had startled Bilbo to begin with, her older brother, Thorin, who was The Werewolf.

            Primula introduced their group to Dis’, which prompted Vili to ask if Thorin had met Bilbo before because why did he go up to the man with such a line if he hadn’t?  When Thorin and Bilbo insisted they hadn’t met before that night, Thorin’s brother was more than a little surprised.

            “Dang, Thor!” Frerin stated.  “You just went up to a perfect stranger and used a creeper line like that on him?!  You could have been hitting on some father!”

            "He’s dressed as Little Red Riding Hood!” Thorin exclaimed, gesturing at Bilbo.  “I thought I was pretty safe!”

            Everyone laughed except for Thorin and Bilbo.

            “I should be angry at you for that statement,” Bilbo said with a sigh.  “But, I can’t really argue with it.”

            The eight of them made a merry little party but Thorin and Bilbo held back.

            “Can I assume,” Thorin asked, walking beside Bilbo, “That one or all your cousins talked you into the storybook theme?”

            “Can I assume,” Bilbo said with a smirk, “That your sister talked you into yours?”

            Thorin smiled.  “I wanted no part of it.”

            “Ditto for me.”

            “But, she told me that either I dressed up, and went as The Werewolf or else she would dress me up as The Bride and tell everyone that Vili and I were a couple and the boys were our kids.”

            Bilbo nearly died laughing.  “She never!”

            Thorin nodded.  “She can be cruel.”

            “Well, my cousins said they first thought about dressing me as a princess but decided against it.  Not because I would be dressed as a girl, but because I wouldn’t look good apparently.”

            Now Thorin laughed.  “Talk about cruel!”

            Bilbo had to agree.

            “So … you never did answer my question.”

            “What question?” 

            “What is in your basket?”

            Bilbo could almost feel himself blush at the unintended innuendo of ‘basket’, especially when thinking of Thorin.  He cleared his throat and pushed the x-rated thoughts away.  “The boys’ candy.  The girls didn’t want them eating it all before getting back home.”

            “Do you think they would mind if we … you know,” Thorin gazed into Bilbo’s basket.  “Were to partake of the tasty treats?”

            Once again, Thorin’s husky voice, added to the words ‘tasty treats’, instantly had Bilbo thinking of partaking of Thorin’s tasty treat.  He willed himself to be serious.  “You reach for anything in here,” Bilbo said, “and you will have three princesses turn into three harpies in seconds.  Probably your sister too.”

            Thorin sighed.  “Probably.

            But Bilbo got an idea.  “However …”  He reached into the basket and, sure enough, all four ladies were on him.

            “Don’t take those!”  “Those are the babies’!”  “Bilbo!”  “Get your hands out of there!”

            Bilbo had only two words.  “Jolly Ranchers.”

            All four mothers nodded.  “Okay.”  “Nevermind.”  “Help yourself.”  “Please!  Take them!”

            Thorin was amazed, and whispered to Bilbo, “What was _that_  all about?!”

            “As any mother will tell you,” Bilbo said, handing Thorin a sour apple while he took a cherry.  “You don’t give little children candy they can choke on.”

            Thorin got it.  “Clever boy.”

            Bilbo smiled.

            Far too quickly, the night was over.  The babes had all fallen asleep at that point and the girls were all saying good-night to each other and setting up play-dates.  But Bilbo didn’t want to say good-night!   He didn’t want the night to end.  And Thorin didn’t either; he held Bilbo to one side and continued chatting while everyone else was heading on.

            “I’d love …” Thorin smiled.  “See you again.  If you’d … you know … like.”

            “I would like,” Bilbo said, fearing that he was as red as his hood.

            “I’ll take that,” Lobelia said, snagging Bilbo’s basket as she passed.  With the skill and speed only a mother had, she reached in and in seconds had somehow plucked all the Jolly Ranchers out of the basket and held them out to Bilbo and Thorin.  “You two can share these.”

            “Along with so much more,” Dis said with a smirk as she passed the two men by.

            Neither Thorin nor Bilbo cared; let them all laugh.

            “Here,” Thorin reached into his pocket and gave Bilbo his card.  “Will you call me?”

            Bilbo decided to be cheeky.  “I thought the Big Bad Wolf went after Red Riding Hood?  Not the other way around.”

            Thorin laughed.

            “Of course,” Bilbo said, feigning innocence.  “You aren’t _really_ the Big Bad Wolf.”

            Thorin gave Bilbo another heart-stopping smile and a wink.  “I can be bad if you want.”

            Bilbo did want!  “Maybe I will call you then.”

            Thorin unwrapped a Jolly Rancher.  “Here.”  He held it up, right in front of Bilbo’s lips.

            Bilbo gladly took the candy; grape flavored.  Then Thorin swooped down and kissed Bilbo.  It was warm and powerful but sweet in both the feeling behind it and the mixed flavors of all the Jolly Ranchers they had eaten.

            “All the better to entice you with,” Thorin whispered against Bilbo’s lips as he pulled back, making Bilbo giggle.  Thorin gave Bilbo another kiss, this time on the cheek and again told Bilbo to call him before he turned and headed off to catch up with his family.

            Bilbo wondered if he could keep the Red Riding Hood cape.  And maybe Thorin would keep the Wolf ears.

 

 

 


End file.
